Tuesday, August 22, 2017

A Slave's Perspective

For most of my time in the lifestyle, I have gravitated toward the Total Power Exchange/Total Authority Transfer (TPE/TAT) side of things. When I first came into the scene, I was adamant that I was a sub and not a slave, but it didn't take me long to naturally fall into the slave category. I've spent most of my time on fet in various M/s forums, so it rarely hits me at how different an outlook that particular dynamic style can be.

I don't find myself discussing it much offline as M/s has never been terribly common in the local scene, at least, as far as I've noticed. I rarely see or hear anyone call themselves a slave when talking about themselves at events. I rarely talk about M/s related stuff at gatherings because of this, and largely because I tend to run into a fair bit of resistence in how I view things.

The local scene has largely been a proponent of the "s-type has all the power" idea, something I've always disagreed with but have rarely voiced that opinion. There are also the ideas of you shouldn't do something if you don't like it, and safe words are full stops, always.

Limits are, of course, regarded as sacrosanct and the concept of no limits is often ridiculed or regarded with much skepticism. Now, I'm not no limits, and I've never proported to be so, but I have long been in online circles where that is a common way to do things, and it influenced how my concept of limits developed. Within the general community, making something a hard limit because you don't like it is perfectly valid. But it always felt like, as a self-defined slave, that my hard limits should have a reason behind it beyond "I don't like it." So, most of my limits are confined to things I find emotionally or physically damaging, things I find morally wrong, or things I can't do because of my own physical limitations. And...clover clamps, 'cause they scare the hell out of me.

As a slave, I fully expect to have to do things I may really dislike. In a recent conversation about my dislike for the taste of semen, there was a discussion about being "made" to taste it versus wanting to, and I mentioned that I had been ordered to in the past and would do again if it was something my future owner wanted despite the fact that I really kind of hate it. A comment was made that doing as you're told when you really don't like something isn't okay. And, I get it, I get the point of view that comes from. I probably felt that way in the beginning, before I fully developed my identity. I also totally advocate that for those who feel that way. You can make a limit for whatever reason you like, and it should be respected.

But that's just not how I work, personally. I have never made swallowing or oral sex a limit. I mean, oral sex is no big deal. It's not something I personally get off on, but it's something I willingly do, and I've been told I'm fairly decent at it. Swallowing, I really kind of hate, but it's not something I feel I have a valid reason to take off the table. I also hate canes, and my only experience with them was terrible. They are a limit with play partners, but if I had an owner, and that was something he chose to use, it's not off the table.

I've also gotten into arguments before about how I handle safe words. This one is a little more tricky, because I haven't ever really used them. My default way to handle things is if I have a problem, I just say what it is, we fix it, and move on. With most partners, I never even establish a safe word. Safe words really don't occur to me in the moment, and if I hit the nonverbal point, I'm not likely to tap out. Although, nonverbal is a rare state for me outside of a romantic relationship. However, if I did use safe words, I have never really considered them a full stop sign like they are at play parties and things like that. Safe words, for me, are a signal that a problem exists and that the problem needs to be addressed, but I feel it is up to my owner to determine how that is to be handled. If he decides we stop, we stop. If he decides to address the issue and keep going, then that's what we do.

I come at things largely from a perspective of lack of choice. I assume I do not have an option unless explicitly presented with one. I've had previous partners who have largely acknowledged and respected my dislikes, even ones I never explicitly voiced. That's great and I enjoy it, but I know there's likely going to be something along the lines that they require that I don't like. As long as I don't find it physically, psychologically, or spiritually harmful, I will do as I'm told. Because, well, that's just how I roll.

Of course, I'm not advocating for everyone to view things this way. I don't expect them to, nor would I want them to. This is just how my mindset has developed over the years. I realize it's not going to click with most, and might even upset a few, as it has in the past. Although, sometimes I do find myself forgetting how unusual it seems in the larger population, so am taken aback by some negative reactions. But, then, it's rare that I discuss these things outside of M/s forums or writings on my blog.

I know I'm unusual, but, I promise, there is a method to my madness.

e[Lust] #97

Modesty Ablaze Elust 97
Photo courtesy of Modesty Ablaze

Welcome to Elust 97-

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you're looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it'll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #97 Start with the rules, come back September 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

The Confessional


Wrapped around his finger

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~


The Storyteller's Conundrum

~Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Rainy Day Lover

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!

Erotic Fiction

The Sleeping Beauty
Broken to Be ~ Part 7 – Conclusion
A good man, with a belt

Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

The Scene That Almost Never Happened
Sticky fingers

Erotic Non-Fiction

The Art Class Model
Bondage Alfresco Style ~ Collared & tied.
Welcome Home Lazy Vanilla Lovemaking
The Happiest Place On Earth?


Burn Together

Writing About Writing

Smut Marathon 2.0

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Sometimes I feel this is all I'm good for

Elust 88

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Choke Chain

I've always had a thing for chains. This morning I was in a conversation where I found myself yearning for a thick, heavy duty chain to roll around in. Luckily for me, a group of us went to the hardware store after a meet and greet, and I just so happened to find this beauty. Stars and garters, it feels so fucking good around my throat.
Sinful Sunday

Star Talker: Part 11: Freedoms

I pressed my cheek against the cool tile of the floor. My body still trembled with the aftershocks of my orgasm. I gasped as his slid out of me, everything tensing for the briefest of moments at the loss of contact. I hadn't had sex since I was last on Centauri Prime. CSF was extremely sex positive, providing contraceptive implants for all citizens at puberty and routine STI screenings at quarterly biometric screenings. I had a three year implant, expecting to be moved out on a staff rotation once the English dictionaries for my translation software were complete. There was still a year of potency left on my implant. I probably shouldn't tell Rha'han about that. Not yet, anyway.

Even with the implant, I hadn't found any of the men among the staff interesting enough to take a turn with. I had missed it though. Rha'han was right, he had found my weakness. I had always enjoyed anal stimulation more than any other sexual contact. I'd had a few partners on Centauri, but since coming here, I'd found toys to be adequate stimulation, but it was nothing like the real thing. However unhappy I might be with my current situation, I would enjoy the sex, at least, if what had just happened was a typical example.

I started as Rha'han was suddenly touching me again, sliding the sponge between my cheeks, cleaning me off. I tried to stand up. He cleared his throat pointedly, and pressed a single finger into a nerve on my spine. I dropped, my torso hitting the tile with a wet slap.

"What the fuck?"

Rha'han continued his rather thorough ministrations. "Humans have an interesting number of pressure points. I'm familiar with a couple dozen or so."

"Greeeaaat," I said, my afterglow suddenly gone. "You know, you could've just said 'stay put'."

He poured warm water over me, rinsing the soap away. "You aren't very consistent about obedience. Physical manipulation seems to be far more effective."

To prove his point, he snatched me up into his arms and carried me out of the bath. He sat me down long enough to towel us off, before taking hold of my braid at the base of my skull and guiding me from the room, both of us completely nude. He took me down the hall to another sliding door. It opened with no prompting from him. I wondered what triggered it. He pushed me into the room. I stopped short at the sight of a woman nearly identical to Daesha, only her scales were a deep fuschia instead of red, and a small white ring dangled from her collar.

"Good evening, Master. The garments you've requested have been purchased and placed in your wardrobe. Your dinner has been delivered as well." She held her hands demurely in front of her, looking down at the floor in what I presumed was deference to our nudity.

"Thank you, Daila. Approach."

She glided forward, fins billowing behind her with the moment. She kept her eyes averted, but tilted her head to expose her throat. Rha'han detached the white ring from her collar.

"You may go," he said, stepping away from the door.

"Thank you, Master," Daila said, bowing slightly and exiting the room.

I plucked the white ring from Rha'han's hand, finally noticing a larger one wrapped around one of his own fingers. "Holy shit. Is this a Djinn Key?" I peered at the tiny thing, seemingly made of slightly translucent white plastic. I could barely see the minuscule circuitry beneath the surface.

"A what?" he said, snatching it back out of my hands.

"A Djinn Key. I remember hearing talk of it on the observatory when I was a kid. A new technology they were developing on New Giza. Automatic security access keys with biological signatures. We never got them on Centauri Prime. They just upgraded the individual bioscanners as needed. We didn't have a lot of foreign visitors at the station, so the expense of a Djinn system wasn't justified."

He stepped away to deposit the ring into a safe that opened when he held up his hand. "That's what they are, but we don't call them Djinn Keys. Just keys, usually. The entire citadel is equipped with the security system. The fleets aren't one hundred percent converted, but they will be within a few years."

"Do I get a key?"

He considered me carefully. "I'll program a blue key tomorrow."

I narrowed my eyes. "What's the difference between a blue key and a white key?"

He strode across the room to what I assumed was an armoire. I couldn't help but let my gaze fall to the muscles of his ass as he walked.

"A blue key gives you free access to all areas of the apartment. White keys access the exit and public establishments throughout the citadel."

"You need a key to get out of the apartment?" I said, incredulous.

"You need a key to trigger any door in the citadel. Public areas are setup for general white level access during operating hours. Residences are set up to only allow access for the key codes of the residents or whomever the admin gives access to," he said, searching through the armoire.

"So, I'm not a slave, but your slaves have more freedom than I do." I crossed my arms over my chest.

He turned around, holding a set of manacles. "For now."

Wicked Wednesday... a place to be wickedly sexy or sexily wicked

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Whips and Chains Excite Me. Rope? Not So Much.

When the bdsm.org test first popped on the scene, the bondage items were listed as "Bondage Receiver" and "Bondage Giver." In later iterations, that item was changed to Rope Bunny/Rigger. I initially copy pasted that onto my profile, because quizzes are fun, but I later changed Rope Bunny back to Bondage Receiver, because Rope Bunny is so not accurate for me.

I'm not a rope bunny. I never really have been. I like bondage, all right, but as a precursor to other activities. I like being tied down, rendered immobile, helpless, preferably in a way that doesn't allow for much fighting. I like chains, and manacles, and leather cuffs. I like the weight and the texture of cold metal against my skin.

Rope? Eh, it'll do in a pinch, but I wouldn't call it one of my kinks. I never learned much about tying, so I usually just attach it to a set of cuffs and go on my merry way.

I mean, I enjoy looking at shibari for the artistic aspects. It's pretty and complex, and interesting from a technical standpoint. But, I don't find myself longing for it. I'm sexually indifferent about rope, particularly complex rigging. There's nothing about it that gets my engines running. I don't pine for it like I do spanking or knives, or other such things.

I don't really include rope in my erotica either. I usually stick to chains, because that's my thing. If I use rope, it's attached to cuffs, because that's what I know and because the tying isn't the point. It's a means to an end for me. It provides the right environment for the other erotic abuses I'm interested in.

I feel weird about it sometimes, as rope is so popular. It's one of those quintessential activities you see in pretty much every bdsm community. It's one of the community show ponies, along with flashy fire play, which oddly, I'm not really much into either. Fire play has always been really popular too, and I've always felt the odd man out not being interested in that either.

So, chock it up to another oddity about me. Love bondage. Love being tied down and restrained. Rope though? Meh. It's pretty, but I can't dredge up the enthusiasm for it that so many of my friends have.

Device bondage looks hot though.